Last weekend we headed up to the mountains to bask in the glorious splendor of the Aspen trees that burst forth with color every fall in Colorado. Colors of burnt red-orange to all shades of yellow; the leaves ornamented the trees and the air as they gently landed all around us. The Aspens and their rustling leaves, next to the purple mountains, deep green pine trees, glistening blue sky and gray clouds worked together creating a musical master piece for all our senses to enjoy. There are no adequate words to articulate the beauty and grandeur of God’s amazing creativity. Creation, when left untouched by man, causes the heart to praise and reminds us that He is truly Lord of lords. As I watched the kids easily run down the first hill to investigate, I was so happy to be alive. It was as if their lives and many milestones played out before my eyes ending with where they are today. Faith is growing into a young lady. She is changing and discovering who she is and what she believes. Her young girls giggle is still present, but there is an elegance and beauty in her confidence that I love. She is also in the midst of a refinement process that makes me oh so proud. James is still so innocent in his heart, but he is growing up too. Just a few short years ago he would have never left my side during such an outing. But this time he was confident and self-assured. Adventure and expectation filled his heart with wonder. As he bounded down the hill, he looked back only once laughing and said, “Come on Mom.” It was good.
As the kids ran forward Phillip checked out the most smooth path for me to follow on. He then returned and took my arm helping me down the way. My legs fought every step, but it didn’t emotionally bother me like it has in the past. We, are beginning to settle into our new reality. We are finding joy, peace and adventure even though things are different – even though we are different – and I am discovering it is well with my soul. It has been such a long journey to this point. A journey that began, long before the events of last February, when I first accepted Jesus into my life. I believe it is a journey that will not soon end. Rather, it will continue until I finally meet Jesus face to face. A journey of coming to know Him, love Him and trust Him despite the circumstance that surround my days. It is a journey all who know Christ are on.
These journeys are not always easy. Though our hearts ache for the days of still quiet waters and green pastures, more often than not, days are filled with heartache and disappointment. Some of you have lost babies, others have lost homes. Some have been deeply hurt in relationships while others have wept over the pain their child with disabilities endures. Still more have been slandered and judged. Perhaps you struggle daily with long term
physical, emotional or mental illness and felt the sting of unacceptance that goes along such difficulties in the Christian community.
There is no doubt, such suffering can easily bring a heart to despair and cause those who have known Jesus for a very long time wonder is He really there? I know this is true because many times in my life I have asked the Lord, “Do you see me?” “Do you even care?” Despair, grief, pain, and disappointment are parts of all of our lives. Yet, the Bible promises in Psalm 37:24 Though he stumble, he shall not fall, for Yahweh holds him up with his hand. In the past this has been one of my favorite verses. I have always pictured me as a toddler who is trying to walk. When I fall, my Daddy (the Lord) does not reprimand me. Instead he reaches out, steadies my gate and holds me tight with his strong hand. I believe that picture is very much true however I recently have had the opportunity to study the name Yahweh and it has opened my eyes to a new depth of meaning to this verse.
In the Bible Study Knowing God by Name written by Mary A Kassian I learned that the name Yahweh wa considered so holy and so revered by the Hebrews they removed the vowels from it so it was unspeakable. Additionally, any Hebrew scribe that wrote the name, would break the quill after they completed writing it. They would never use the same quill to write any other word. Could it be that we have lost some of that reverence? I know in many ways I have.
Mary Kassian goes onto say that the name Yahweh reveals
- God is self-existent: He was not created
God is self-sufficient: He does not depend on anyone or anything
- God is self-directed: He is free to do as He pleases
- God is eternal: Head has lived and will live forever
- God is consistent: He is who He is. He is true and unchanging.
Our God – who is so big and doesn’t need me to be complete and can do anything that he pleases, promises that if I (you, all of us!) stumble he will reach down and hold me with his own hand. It is mind-boggling to say the least.
There have been many stumbles in my life. Some caused by my own actions, others caused by the actions of others. There have been many days I have screamed out Lord where are you? Despair, grief, pain and disappointment have filled many of my days and at times anger has made my heart grown stone cold. And yet, even with that cycle replaying itself over and over again the Lord — Yahweh — most high and most holy has never failed to reach down, pick me up and hold me with his own hand to steady me and help me find the right road. Humbling, awe-inspiring and so worthy of my praise.
As our new reality has come into focus and Yahweh in our midst has clarified, I have come to understand something marvelous. Just as the Lord uses the Aspens and their rustling leaves, next to the purple mountains, deep green pine trees, glistening blue sky and gray clouds to work together to create a musical masterpiece for our senses to enjoy. The Lord, Yahweh, also uses each of our lives journeys to create an even more spectacular symphony that draws others to him and his faithfulness. A symphony that is lovely because of the composer — each note being just right — each instrument being tuned by his hands. Oh yes, this side of Heaven is filled with pain. But when we learn the truth that He is for us, even in the darkest storm, there can be peace and joy
in the midst of the pain.